The Need of Counselling
Have you ever felt the need of being heard without judgement, seek understanding about what’s going on and find your way out or maybe within yourself? That’s where the role of a counsellor comes. Well, the term counselling might be a gift of this century but the process is nothing new.
When you are faced with a life situation, you normally seek a word of advise from a friend or a loved one, or maybe the other person reaches out to you to extend support, all this is nothing but a kind of counselling, for all it does is help you find your way.
In the present day scenario, with changing lifestyles, mindsets ambitions, one needs counselling at almost every phase of life, especially at the time of decision-making. Ironically, one doesn’t realize the need of it. Simply because we have learnt to not seek professional help, in fact it’s more of a taboo to even accept that we need help.
Be it an emotional struggle or any other life situation, I am here to help you with the best of my abilities, honed with years of experience. I can help you with pre-marital counselling, relationship counselling, marriage counselling, pregnancy counselling, conscious parenting, child counselling, grief counselling to mention just a few. Working with hundreds of clients from all walks of life has enhanced my insight and inspired me to use a blend of traditional plus new age therapies for effective results. The result we seek is harmony at all levels plus happiness despite challenges.
Marriage on the cards? If that’s so you need this. Be it love or arranged, marriage brings a change and has a lot more in store than one assumes. Before we commit to another we need to know ourselves and our expectations from the relationship, from the spouse and keys to create compatibility. More often than not one gets so caught up in the wedding details that thinking about these aspects doesn’t seem important at all. This is where pre-marital counselling comes into picture. It is about identifying yours and your would-be spouse’ triggers, habits, conflict points, needs, desires and the like. It’s only then that it would be called as getting into relationship with eyes open, in contrast to finding yourself caught unaware in the middle of it. Moreover, pre-marital counselling also helps understand the would-be spouse’ family members, for they are going to be your family and when you know them well, you bond well. So, never ignore pre-marital counselling. Do go for it!
Pre-marital counselling includes individual as well as joint sessions aiming to understand oneself in a dynamic of two and then create understanding amongst them. It brings to light strengths and weaknesses, the expected challenges and also the harmonious ways to deal with them. This kind of open communication has always proven to be really empowering for both the individuals and builds up a very supportive connection between them.
Marriage is often referred to as an ‘institution’. It symbolises love, commitment, understanding and so much more. Just like every other relationship this too has its own journey of growth. What one needs is patience, maturity and positive perspective to deal with the ups and downs of sailing through the sea together. As there are moments of happiness, there are bound to be difference of opinions for no two individuals think alike. When such differences are not dealt with mature understanding they turn into grudges which interfere with the smooth functioning of the relationship and often lead to breakdown. Either you end up behaving unexpectedly or the partner does, at the end of the day both suffer. When faced with any such life situation, counselling can be of great help, for only a non-judgemental person can untangle the apparently seeming complication. In fact what appears to be a conflict, confusion or complication might not be so when dealt with the help of a counsellor and even if things to turn out to be as bad as they feel, a counsellor can help you navigate your way through a difficult time.
Individual as well as joint sessions in the course of marriage counselling are all about understanding each other better in terms of emotional, mental, physical and even spiritual needs, expectations and desires. It also aims to arrive at the keys to get over the conflict triggers and bridge the communication gap that is more often the cause of misunderstandings. Howsoever bigger and insurmountable the issues might look, love and understanding can help transcend and overcome them. Don’t give up. Give it a chance!
“I am having a baby” or “We are expecting”, are words which bring joy to our ears and to those who love us. Its the most beautiful feeling in the world that one gets to feel when they get to know that they are bringing a new life into this world.
Along with this joy come a few worries as well, it can be taxing because there are many many changes which the child brings about, physically, mentally and emotionally.
The mother slowly gets to realise that her body is going to change to accommodate another being, her hormones often begin to rule her, life just starts to feel more and more complicated, the news that bought so much joy is now causing stress. For times like these there are customised sessions for the mother to release her anxiety and connect with her unborn child and to once again connect with her former self. The father who is wondering what came over his wife can also benefit from these sessions, for they learn how to deal with an expecting lady. Pregnancy is a phenomenal gift that we have, and I strive to make that time easy and as joyous as possible.
Parenting is an art. It’s a beginning of yet another phase of life wherein parents are born along with the child. Just like it is a new world for the child, so is it for the parents, in their own way. Thus, unknowingly and unconsciously parents bring up the children in the conventional manner. For example they would forcefully feed the child despite the resistance, silly because parents think it’s good for the child. Well, it is but find a good way too, else along with food you end up leaving a negative impression in the child’s mind. Similarly, there are numerous instances in which parents act unconsciously in the name of doing good for their children.
Conscious parenting is an altogether different approach and experience wherein you not only deal with the child but also with your own mind. If you are not balanced, peaceful and conscious, you are not equipped to handle your child. It is your own journey of growth as a parent, only then can you help carve out the road for your child. I have helped so many parents to rise above their personalities and allow their children to develop beautifully based on the child’s potential and capabilities. Once they do, children love to follow them by their own choice, because the parents are doing things that the children can identify with. Learning and growing up need not be difficult all the time, most situations can be tackled with east, only if we choose to see the others point of view, only if we choose to question ourself, “will this truly benefit my child”.
Times have changed. Needs of today’s children are different from 0urs when we were of their age, as are our expectations from them. In fact the demands of school, family, parents and then peer group pressure subjects children to stress at a very early age. That is why children need counselling and so do parents!
Childhood is the time when we are most vulnerable to our environment and imbibe almost everything without filter. The impressions formed during this phase of life are there to stay. They not only shape our personality, behaviour but also play a vital role in our understanding of the world and people. Thus it becomes all the more important for parents to have an insight about what impressions are getting formed in their child’s mind.
In child counselling we make use of play therapy along with the talk therapy. Since children at this stage are still in the process of learning language and communication skills, both these methods are quite effective in facilitating expression with the help of symbols, stories, picture books, story-telling, puppets and drawings. In fact it becomes enjoyable besides being therapeutic for children. It also allows me to get to know the child better, understand the challenges child is facing, his/her innermost feelings and thought in addition to his/her emotional needs.This puts me in a better position to help the child be at ease, overcome the difficulties, know his/her qualities and grow cheerfully.
Whatever we do in life ultimately boils down to seeking happiness. Grief is the twin of happiness, it’s indispensable and unavoidable. In fact grief can mature us, grow us like none other, for it brings to light what lies in the deeper layers of our mind. It is an opportunity to deal with the accumulated past grieving experiences, thus releasing the blocked energy. But only if we know how to deal with it in a balanced way and for that one also needs to stay equanimous even in the times of happiness.
Grief counselling helps get over an emotionally, mentally and sometimes a physically draining experience of life with the help of a counsellor, be it losing a loved one, dealing with an illness, the loss of a relationship or any such life situation. If not dealt with, it can create dense pockets of depression. Ignoring or avoiding it is not the solution, but confronting and transcending is the way out. And the only hurdle is the vulnerability which when assisted by a counsellor can show the way to tap one’s strength. I have assisted a lot of my clients get deeper into their experience, grow out of it and move on. For getting deeper into it is imperative to grow out of it forever. Remember, every experience in life holds learnings and lessons for our journey of growth. More often than not the intensity of grief makes one get stuck in it, but with grief counselling it gets easier to let go and get unstuck!